Know the Facts of Online Dating

Online dating is getting very popular and if you would like to join this world, there are a few things that you should keep in mind. As with the other aspects of life, you will have more success if you follow the rules of the game and treat other people with respect. Some people may not realize these rules but in the end it will mean the difference between you getting the date and continuing to be single.

If you find an attractive picture online, it is ok to tell the person that you think they are nice looking. However looks are not everything. If that is all that you have to say online, then it is going to be better not to say anything at all. Read the person’s profile so that you can say something more than just a comment about their looks.

You can read the profit in all situations. Always look at a person’s “My perfect date” section to see what he or she is going to be interested in. most people are looking for others within a certain age range and distance from home. They might also have preferences about children, smoking, religion, looks, race, and sexual preferences. If you are 33 and someone online is looking for a date between 20 and 28, he or she is not looking for you so you need to pass them by.

Do not send an initial email if you did not read the profile. Ask general questions like “How are you?” and ” What can you tell me about yourself?” can be annoying. Be more specific and ask the other person questions that can be answered in an email back to you and your questions will show her your personal interests.

The most important thing is if another person is not interested, move past them. Sometimes people will not answer your messages on purpose. Online is the acceptable way of showing that you have no interest. Do not repeatedly send messages that ask a person if they got your previous message. They got them and they are simply not interested. If someone writes you back and indicated that there is no chemistry for him or her, let the issue go.

There are millions of other profiles for you to pursue and someone is going to reply. Writing back to that person and telling them that they are close-minded, mean, or something unpleasant is not going to help and it is against the websites rules. Use your common sense and do not do or say anything that you would never do or say in real life. Online dating can be more fun for everyone if you follow the etiquette rules.

Guys: If you need a little help, check out this!

Guys and Gals: It´s a must see, check it out here!

How To Stop The Fighting In Your Relationships

For some couples fighting is the fire that keeps their relationships alive. It lets them know the other cares. Many are determined to win a battle that never ends. Others try to right the wrongs they have experienced in the past with someone new. Unfortunately, this kind of behavior is doomed to failure. When we bring baggage from a former relationship into the present, all new relationships simply become a continuation of the past.

What People Get Out of Fighting

It is important to understand why couples keep fighting. For some fighting is a fire that keeps their relationships alive. It lets them know the other cares, things aren’t really over, and sparks still fly between them. Fighting can keep these couples bonded, causing them to think about each other a great deal.

Some love power struggles. They love winning and feeling power over the other. This makes them feel strong.Fighting can easily become a habit, something individuals fall into automatically and instinctively. Needless to say, fighting prevents real communication from developing. It is a way of threatening or blaming the other. Rather than really addressing issues, it causes a situation to remain stuck.

Without a good fight, a relationship is over,” says Mary, a twenty six year old administrative assistant. “The lights have gone off between us. It’s a sign my partner no longer cares.”

Mary, who was recently divorced and is now in another choppy relationship feels that eventually she’ll marry a man with whom she can fight – and survive the storms. ” I respect a guy who I can fight with, who can take me as I am.”

For Mary being angry, fighting and winning has became her identity. Without it, she no longer knows who she truly is. She does not see price she is paying for this kind of relationship or what toll it takes on all concerned.

Unfortunately, the anger many individuals live with on a daily basis can become crystallized into their identity. Once this identity becomes habitual, the individuals soon have no idea who they would be without it. Needless to say, this blocks out much of the happiness, flexibility, communication and intimacy they desire.

“I’m not letting her walk all over me,” Roger would balk whenever his ex wife expressed her needs to him now, or brought up any issue. Rather than listening to what she had to say, he immediately took it as criticism. “She’s trying to tell me I’m inadequate,” he would declare. The war was on. What started as a conversation, turned into a power struggle. From Roger’s point of view, his very manhood was at stake.

However, as long as any of us hold onto our anger and continue fighting, there is no hope of working the problems through, or even truly understanding what is really going on. Roger could not pause and realize that his partner’s needs and feelings had nothing to do with him. He was determined to take whatever she said or did personally and keep feeling badly about himself. These are many consequences when we cling to anger and allow it to turn into our sense of who we are.

Beyond that, it’s impossible not to receive the fruits of what you have put forth. “As you sow, so shall you reap,” is an immutable law of living. Although we may justify all kinds of behavior it is absolutely inevitable that we will experience the consequences of our thoughts, actions and deeds. Depression arises, hopelessness and the inability to love again.

There are many steps involved in letting go of anger. The very first step is to realize that anger is a toxin. It is not a source of strength or power, but can become an addiction, a substitute for true power and wisdom, something that hinders our well being and stops our life from going forward.

There are definite steps we can take to undo anger. And in order to begin a new chapter and to build a positive relationship both with ourselves and others, it is necessary to begin this process.
Here are a few steps one can take to begin. They are taken from The Anger Diet which offers one step a day for thirty days. These following guidelines are simple, but powerful. Why not try them today and see.

Putting An End To The War

  1. Stop Blaming – It is absolutely pointless for you to blame yourself or the other. Blame stops you from seeing the truth. While we are engaged in pointing a finger, and making the other feel guilty, we cannot see what is really going on. Blame is a way to keep the fight alive. TAKE A VACATION FROM BLAME FOR ONE DAY. Instead of thinking of all the ways the person has hurt you keep your eyes open to watch how you may be stoking the fires. Focus upon what the person has done for you, instead, the ways in which they have been kind.

2) Realize The Price You Are Paying For These Fights Unless we truly realize the terribly toll fighting is taking on us, we will continue it automatically. Honestly take note of the consequences each fight brings, what it is doing to your body, mind and spirit. Then ask do I truly want this? Haven’t I suffered enough? Why not stop it today?

3)  Know There Is A Better Way – You have to become aware that there is a better way to be in a relationship. This is the time to expand your view. Define success as being happy rather than being right. Learn other tools and techniques which will de-escalate anger and make a positive relationship possible for you.

4) Build A Strong Sense of Self-Worth

The basis of all good relationships is a feeling of worthiness, a desire to honor, gift and pleasure yourself, and to do the same for the other. Choose this kind of relationship and let go of all that opposes it.

As we have the courage to let go of anger, not only does our health improve, but soon we notice many kinds of wonderful, new people and experiences entering our lives. We attract what we focus upon. When we focus upon well-being, forgiveness and love, that is what will fill our lives.

Dildo – The Excitement Like Never Before

A dildo is a sex toy that resembles the penis in shape, size and overall appearance. It is meant for bodily penetration during masturbation or sex with a partner or partners. It provides instant pleasure to lonely women or for women without their partners at a particular period of time.

First, dildos were made of stone, tar, wood and other materials that could be shaped as penis and that were firm enough to be used as a penetrative sex toys. Rubber dildos, usually incorporating a steel spring for stiffness, became available in the 1940s. Later, PVC dildos with a softer PVC filler became popular. Most of the inexpensive dildos sold today are made this way. In the 1990s, silicone rubber dildos became more popular, a trend that has continued as the prices have lowered.

Dildos are commonly used for vaginal and/or anal penetration purposes. Dildos are used by people of all genders and sexual orientations, alone or with others.

Some larger dildos are intended for visual appeal only and should not be used for penetration. Dildos can transmit disease between users in the same way as other forms of sexual contact and should not be shared among users where this is a concern.

Crucial to pleasure with dildos is having an understanding of the curves and byways of the rectum. If you ignore your curvature, the dildo you are trying to put up yourself will run smack into the wall and give you pain. So using Dildo, you can enhance your sexual pleasure to a new level. But eventually, you have to remain cautious.

Dating, Marriage, Love, and Relationship Advice: The Dance of Commitment and Your Secret Passion Signature!

If you are single, dating, or trying to get to “I DO” and spend too much time hurting and not enough time loving this may be the most important love relationship advice you could ever receive. Did you know that some people just don’t let themselves have love? Some are eaten alive with the “fear of commitment.” Some can’t let themselves take the risk or feel vulnerable so they string you along in a dating relationship. Some people don’t love themselves enough to value you if you love them. Here’s how to spot the signs of a hopeless case, using little known relationship tips.

The truth is that unless a soul is willing to be involved with you, there is no hope whatsoever for a love relationship. No set of skills you learn from any book, seminar, or TV program can create a breakthrough when the other does not choose it. Of course, this can be terribly frustrating for you if you are dating or married and a willing partner. It’s painful, a lot like hitting your head against the wall. Nonetheless, all too often we do not listen when we are told no, because we believe there must be something more we can do to fix the situation so that our desires prevail. Each of us wants what we want when we want it, especially when it comes to love relationship, so we tend to ignore the inevitable and keep on trying. I’ve done this myself. I may be a therapist, but I am a woman first and I learned these lessons through painful firsthand experience.

In a dating relationship, a man who says, “This relationship doesn’t fit into my 20-year projection,” or a woman who tells you, “I leave everybody with whom I get involved,” is telling you that he or she is not available. And that’s the truth. Most likely this person has chosen this dating relationship with its current limitations because it didn’t have long-term potential in his or her mind. It doesn’t matter how great the sex is, how attractively you dress, or how well you get along, the day will come when you will hit a nasty wall of resistance. You may even hit the wall right after you attain an amazing state of ecstatic union. Then, out of the blue, everything will come to a screeching halt. When suddenly your love interest informs you, “It’s over,” it’s super important to listen to what is being said to you and heed the message. Otherwise you are in for deeper disappointment.

Ironically dating that leads to a true love relationship is terrifying to the hidden part of us that’s responsible for our safety and survival. If we love deeply and surrender to love, fear naturally arises. Opening up to another being tends to bring up old wounds from the past, especially childhood. The survival system can be stronger than the human heart. Its only interest is in protecting us from getting hurt by anyone or anything. For some of us, the possibility of establishing a profound connection poses perhaps the biggest threat. The fear of commitment often masks a deeper issue. You may feel “not good enough,” “engulfed,” “not perfect,” and so on. The fire of passion is literally too hot for many people to handle, so they run away. Without making the soul choice to hang in there and face the fire, our desired connections don’t stand a chance.

There are love relationship tips you can use to let you know that you have snagged someone afraid of connection. See if these sound familiar:

1. After the sexual excitement has died down a bit your lover becomes elusive.
2. Your love interest starts avoiding opportunities to get together, and when you mention it you are called a “complainer.”
3. Any mention on your part of moving into more commitment is met with evasion, “Do what you need to do for yourself. Don’t worry about me.”
4. Your partner develops a roving eye. Sitting at a dinner table you see your beloved watching everyone that passes.
5. The sexual interest dies between you. You express a desire for more affection and are told that you are “too pushy.”

It doesn’t matter what techniques you use in a love relationship. Unless there is an awakening of consciousness and a desire to increase the level of intimacy, there cannot be a breakthrough. In my therapeutic practice I have watched women spend ten years with men who were terrified of being abandoned but were also terrified of commitment. When push comes to shove this type of man chooses his freedom over the woman. He is often too concerned with what he could miss out on later to commit to today.

In my book, The Passion Principle: Discover Your Personal Passion Signature and the Secrets to Deeper Relationships in Love, Life and Work, I identify 5 signature styles of relating. Each has a healthy balanced, loving aspect, which makes for great relationships and a wounded side, which shows up as the inability to love or commit for one reason or another. They are the Warrior/Conqueror, Lover/Vamp, Creator/Martyr, Prophet/Perfectionist, and Visionary/Perfectionist. To create a breakthrough in receiving the love you want or commit to the love you have, you must step into the balanced healthy aspect of your signature.

In romantic relationships the Warrior is committed, sexy and loyal. The Conqueror works so many hours s/he is not available for commitment. The Lover is wonderful with commitment and intimacy. The Vamp can be desperately needy and make you want to run from commitment. The Creator is fantastic at commitment. The Martyr feels trapped in intimate relationships and runs at the first sign of commitment. The Prophet is a blissfully connected lover. The Escapist is a Houdini who will run from you at the first sign of commitment. The Visionary is positive, high energy and a great mate. The Perfectionist is disappointed by anyone who turns up in the flesh because they are searching for the perfect mate.

The wounded aspects of the “passion signatures” can get in the way of deepening intimacy and cause you to waste precious time. I have seen men and women spend 30 years trying to find Mr. or Ms. Right, and no one was ever good enough. If this type is your partner, you won’t be good enough either.

You can beg a workaholic Conqueror to come home and put your relationship first for decades, only to bury this type of mate before the request is honored. You can also consume five years trying to get a Martyr to join you in a grounded, forward-moving relationship to no avail, and forfeit just as many years of effort trying to establish a significant relationship with a Vamp who is only attracted to the unavailable. Relationships can be used as vessels for growth and healing, but only between willing partners.

A 45-year-old Martyr grew up under the domination of an angry, controlling mother. As an adult, he continued waging battle against his mother by never committing to one woman. In a series of monogamous relationships, he provoked a long stream of women to become hostile and demanding, just like his mother, until the day came when each one could not stand any more and left him in disgust. What he didn’t realize was that his past was ruling his life and that love would elude him forever unless he dealt with his wounds. His latest girlfriend, a woman who wanted to understand her patterns, brought him to my office. She asked me to help her decide whether or not to stay in it, or break it off.

The man was the eternal “nice guy” who would do anything for his woman, except commit. Each of his previous girlfriends only knew this side of him, because he was a chameleon. His defiance of her was never put in her face. It was subtle, insidious, behind-the-back stuff, nothing she could put her finger on. He seemed to be there, in the dating relationship, except he wasn’t really there. He told his new love interest that he was keeping his connections with the other women because he didn’t like to hurt people. He insisted that he wasn’t stringing anyone along . . . it was just that he had never found the one woman to whom he could commit. His fears were sabotaging the relationship.

My client who was the wounded Lover/Vamp had been replaying a traumatic childhood scene of her own with the boyfriend. In relationship with him, she basically was trying to get her abandoning father not to leave. Her dad had walked out on her family when she was a small child, never to be seen again. Both she and her boyfriend were full-grown adults, yet when it came to love they were hopelessly locked in a painful cycle of tug of war. She was sabotaging her happiness by trying to persuade an unavailable man to love her.

Remember: There are no bad guys here. Sometimes we’re ready for things and sometimes we are not. A sign that you are personally unready is that you continue dating people who are also not available when you check below the surface. Or if they are available, you “make” them not good enough, or tell yourself, “Not now.” If you are on the receiving end of a message of reluctance, hang in there for a little while in case your love interest becomes more comfortable. Seek help in processing your feelings if you must. But if you find your self-esteem draining from you while you wait, or you feel less and less valued by your mate, it is time to “cut bait” (break up), toss “the fish” (your partner) back into the sea, and walk away.

There are more easy-to-apply love relationship tips and tools you can use to create commitment in what looks like hopeless cases. In my book, The Passion Principle: Discover Your Passion Signature and the Secrets to Deeper Relationships in Love, Life and Work, you will find lots more to help you have the love relationship you deserve.

Here’s one final thought. If you are in a loving relationship, it is vital that managing the relationship and growing in the relationship become your two highest priorities. You must be honest and diligent, take responsibility for your own energy, feelings, thoughts, and defenses, and try to understand your impact on your partner. This last item matters most when things are going wrong or you want to deepen your connection. These are keys to unleashing romantic passion.

Excerpt from The Passion Principle, Copyright Donna LeBlanc