The 4 Week Diet

How To Get Your Man To Pamper You?

Being a man that pampers and caters to his woman. I have often heard conversations between women on this topic. Some good, but the majority being bad. Since I feel that most women are deceived on how to get their man to pamper them I decided to write this suggestive article.

This article is about Pampering, Catering, Online Dating, Personals, Love

To your surprise there will probably be more things that you may want to avoid doing to win the favor of your man to get a chance at the “All Might Pampering”. In some cases you may want to avoid doing certain things if you want to keep him comfortable with pampering you. So that would make this article good for women who are getting pampered and those who aren’t.

Try to keep it real with yourself and face the fact that no one owes you a foot rub, back rub, or what you may consider pampering. With women’s movements and the lack of chivalry in today’s society you are now being put on the level of being equal with a man. If you’re the type of woman that believes in women being treated as equals, the type that holds to more older traditional values, or you maybe the type that likes to pull either card when it is convenient (This is a major don’t do). All this is totally irrelevant. Both types are now being treat like equals regardless of what you may believe or hold true too. So if your feet hurts after a long days work or maybe they just hurt from doing so much walking through the park or shopping mall. Guess what? No, one owes you pampering.

Communication is still the number one key. The problem I believe that most women are having is in this area. So that you can see if you are having problems with this I will first give you a few pointers on how to tell. Then we will go into some more “Don’ts” to help get you going in the right direction or to help some not run into problems and lose there quality time.

* If the words “Darling we need to talk.” make him grunt and groan like he’s in pain.
* If you where getting catered to but now its only upon request.
* You seem to feel a little like you are bugging him by asking
* He’s told you that he’s not going to do that and why he’s not
* When you guys start to communicate it usually ends in a argument

One thing you should remember is you are not going to change a person. That is something that has to happen with in and with time. Being forceful and fighting will only drive him away from the issue even more and maybe from you all together. And finding a new partner that will do the pampering. Well, I can only say “the grass may be greener on the other side, but it still has to be mowed”. So when you do communicate try to keep it simple by using the OUR #1 RULE: “Speak to him as you would have him speak to you”. Men feel more comfortable in conversations where they feel respected or honored. For example: you have a women who is getting her “half job foot rub” from arguments and beating him down with consent harassment. On the other hand you have a woman that is sweet and persuasive that is getting a awesome foot rub that could even lead to night out with the girls, shopping or who knows what.

My woman’s girlfriend said she had come home from a long days work and asked to be massaged because her back and feet where aching. The response she got was his back and feet where aching also. So of course she got upset. I feel that if she wouldn’t have gotten upset she may have noticed a light bulb turn on. Remember don’t be argumentative but be persuasive. What she should have replied was “I’m sorry you had a hard day too dear, Why don’t we both take turns rubbing each others kinks out and listening to those CD’s that we both like”.

If you are wanting to be catered to then you must be willing to cater to him also. Remember you are a equal now, right? First find out what he likes and how he likes it. Men love catering too. Matter fact there is not much difference between you two. You guys just handle emotions and life situations differently as well as communicate your feelings differently. But there is no difference between your struggles.

Don’t over do it. Try not to get into a mind frame where it is expected or not appreciated because the minute he feels it is not appreciated or this type of treatment wouldn’t be given to him since you guys are equals. The pampering my go right out the door. Barking out instructions during the course of the pampering like giving instructions on how to rub your feet while he’s actually doing it is a major NO, NO. This should be avoided by letting him know when you guys do discuss it. For example: “Yeah, honey when you gave me my rub that way it was really nice”. Also try not to discuss catering too much. Even nice words spoken over and over are irritating.

Making him feel like he owes you for the breakfast that morning or something you bought him when you went shopping yesterday is a real big turn off. That could put a major damper on the pamper parade. In some cases you may be dealing with a different case and scenario then I have described and that’s ok too. I will now give you a helpful summary list that a woman can apply to win favor with her man and have a better chance at getting pampered.

* No one owe’s you pampering
* You can’t change anyone
* The grass may be greener but it still must be mowed
* Be persuasive and sweet, not combative and forceful
* Try not to give instructions on the pampering during pampering
* Speak to him as you would have him speak to you

If I could sum it all up. I would say that the main focus from here own out needs to be in changing you and your approach to get your man to participate in the act of you guys pampering each other. Have fun out there!




Depression And Relationships

Depression can be a very lonely illness and your relationships are a key part of how you cope with your depression. You need friends for support. Not just good weather friends but friends who can support you when you’re down. If one of these friends is also depressed it is not necessarily a bad thing. You can understand each other and perhaps be there on each other’s bad days (but not if you’re having a bad time at the same time). However, you need to be conscious when choosi…

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Depression can be a very lonely illness and your relationships are a key part of how you cope with your depression. You need friends for support. Not just good weather friends but friends who can support you when you’re down. If one of these friends is also depressed it is not necessarily a bad thing. You can understand each other and perhaps be there on each other’s bad days (but not if you’re having a bad time at the same time). However, you need to be conscious when choosing sexual partners that your depression will have altered you as a person. It is likely that the person you get together with when depressed will not be the person you want to be with when you are better. When you are depressed you are a different person – you may not even know who you really are – but your partner will be with the person you are at that time. Also, depression alters your view of the world and therefore your view of other people, so your view of your partner will not be the same when you are better.

Now, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t start a relationship when depressed. On the contrary, it could be the best thing for you. It may provide the stability you need to start working through your problems and you may be able to talk to your partner about things you can’t discuss with anyone else. Your partner may be the only person you can relax around and start to feel yourself again. Issues may arise that hadn’t before and wouldn’t have come up if you weren’t in a relationship. On the other hand, you may find that you keep up the pretence of being the person you think you ought to be. There is also the possibility that the relationship could fail before you are ready – perhaps due to your depression. This will make you worse. Either way, the stability may give you the space to start seeing things differently and the confidence to start seeking therapy.

However, what I strongly advise is do not start a relationship with someone who is also depressed. I am not a doctor but I do have 25 years experience of depression and there are two likely outcomes of this sort of relationship. Firstly, one of you will get better, you will split and the other will get worse. The reason is this: if you are simply friends with another depressed person you can help each other and if one of you gets better you can still be there to help the other one with your understanding and advice. However, if you are in a relationship with another depressed person and one of you gets better and you split up then the other person will have suffered the end of their relationship plus the loss of their friendship and support. By all means be friends with other depressed people, we all need friends when we’re depressed, but wait until you have both recovered before you think about starting a sexual partnership.

Depression is a difficult illness to really get rid of. Once you have had it there is always the possibility of a recurrence. If you have recovered from your depression but are still in a relationship with someone who is depressed it is very difficult to stay recovered. Also, you may find that you want to get out of the relationship but feel trapped because you know that the other person will get worse. The stress of this may send you back into depression. This is the second outome – you will both remain depressed.

There are two remaining possible outcomes – the first is that you will both get better and stay together. I believe this is highly unlikely but not impossible. You will both be different people when you are better, with different views and personalities from when you first got together. You may still like each other but want different things. It would be great if you both manage to help each other through depression and out the other side but the normal stresses and strains of a relationship make this unlikely.

The other outcome is that one of you will get better and you will stay together. I think this is the least likely to happen. If you recover from depression and live with someone who is depressed you are not likely to be really happy. You may still remember the feelings and understand but there may be an element of “I got through it so you should be able to as well.” We all know that’s unreasonable as part of depression is the feeling that you just can’t try any more but don’t people always say that ex-smokers and the worst critics of smokers?

Bear in mind that a long-term partnership is not necessarily a bad thing when you are depressed but please think about the consequences of getting together with another depressed person. Try to help each other and be there for each other but keep enough distance between you so that you help each other and not bring each other down. In other words, stay friends and don’t live with each other, at least, not until you know who you really are.




Dating, Marriage, Love, and Relationship Advice: The Dance of Commitment and Your Secret Passion Signature!

If you are single, dating, or trying to get to “I DO” and spend too much time hurting and not enough time loving this may be the most important love relationship advice you could ever receive. Did you know that some people just don’t let themselves have love? Some are eaten alive with the “fear of commitment.” Some can’t let themselves take the risk or feel vulnerable so they string you along in a dating relationship. Some people don’t love themselves enough to value you if you love them. Here’s how to spot the signs of a hopeless case, using little known relationship tips.

The truth is that unless a soul is willing to be involved with you, there is no hope whatsoever for a love relationship. No set of skills you learn from any book, seminar, or TV program can create a breakthrough when the other does not choose it. Of course, this can be terribly frustrating for you if you are dating or married and a willing partner. It’s painful, a lot like hitting your head against the wall. Nonetheless, all too often we do not listen when we are told no, because we believe there must be something more we can do to fix the situation so that our desires prevail. Each of us wants what we want when we want it, especially when it comes to love relationship, so we tend to ignore the inevitable and keep on trying. I’ve done this myself. I may be a therapist, but I am a woman first and I learned these lessons through painful firsthand experience.

In a dating relationship, a man who says, “This relationship doesn’t fit into my 20-year projection,” or a woman who tells you, “I leave everybody with whom I get involved,” is telling you that he or she is not available. And that’s the truth. Most likely this person has chosen this dating relationship with its current limitations because it didn’t have long-term potential in his or her mind. It doesn’t matter how great the sex is, how attractively you dress, or how well you get along, the day will come when you will hit a nasty wall of resistance. You may even hit the wall right after you attain an amazing state of ecstatic union. Then, out of the blue, everything will come to a screeching halt. When suddenly your love interest informs you, “It’s over,” it’s super important to listen to what is being said to you and heed the message. Otherwise you are in for deeper disappointment.

Ironically dating that leads to a true love relationship is terrifying to the hidden part of us that’s responsible for our safety and survival. If we love deeply and surrender to love, fear naturally arises. Opening up to another being tends to bring up old wounds from the past, especially childhood. The survival system can be stronger than the human heart. Its only interest is in protecting us from getting hurt by anyone or anything. For some of us, the possibility of establishing a profound connection poses perhaps the biggest threat. The fear of commitment often masks a deeper issue. You may feel “not good enough,” “engulfed,” “not perfect,” and so on. The fire of passion is literally too hot for many people to handle, so they run away. Without making the soul choice to hang in there and face the fire, our desired connections don’t stand a chance.

There are love relationship tips you can use to let you know that you have snagged someone afraid of connection. See if these sound familiar:

1. After the sexual excitement has died down a bit your lover becomes elusive.
2. Your love interest starts avoiding opportunities to get together, and when you mention it you are called a “complainer.”
3. Any mention on your part of moving into more commitment is met with evasion, “Do what you need to do for yourself. Don’t worry about me.”
4. Your partner develops a roving eye. Sitting at a dinner table you see your beloved watching everyone that passes.
5. The sexual interest dies between you. You express a desire for more affection and are told that you are “too pushy.”

It doesn’t matter what techniques you use in a love relationship. Unless there is an awakening of consciousness and a desire to increase the level of intimacy, there cannot be a breakthrough. In my therapeutic practice I have watched women spend ten years with men who were terrified of being abandoned but were also terrified of commitment. When push comes to shove this type of man chooses his freedom over the woman. He is often too concerned with what he could miss out on later to commit to today.

In my book, The Passion Principle: Discover Your Personal Passion Signature and the Secrets to Deeper Relationships in Love, Life and Work, I identify 5 signature styles of relating. Each has a healthy balanced, loving aspect, which makes for great relationships and a wounded side, which shows up as the inability to love or commit for one reason or another. They are the Warrior/Conqueror, Lover/Vamp, Creator/Martyr, Prophet/Perfectionist, and Visionary/Perfectionist. To create a breakthrough in receiving the love you want or commit to the love you have, you must step into the balanced healthy aspect of your signature.

In romantic relationships the Warrior is committed, sexy and loyal. The Conqueror works so many hours s/he is not available for commitment. The Lover is wonderful with commitment and intimacy. The Vamp can be desperately needy and make you want to run from commitment. The Creator is fantastic at commitment. The Martyr feels trapped in intimate relationships and runs at the first sign of commitment. The Prophet is a blissfully connected lover. The Escapist is a Houdini who will run from you at the first sign of commitment. The Visionary is positive, high energy and a great mate. The Perfectionist is disappointed by anyone who turns up in the flesh because they are searching for the perfect mate.

The wounded aspects of the “passion signatures” can get in the way of deepening intimacy and cause you to waste precious time. I have seen men and women spend 30 years trying to find Mr. or Ms. Right, and no one was ever good enough. If this type is your partner, you won’t be good enough either.

You can beg a workaholic Conqueror to come home and put your relationship first for decades, only to bury this type of mate before the request is honored. You can also consume five years trying to get a Martyr to join you in a grounded, forward-moving relationship to no avail, and forfeit just as many years of effort trying to establish a significant relationship with a Vamp who is only attracted to the unavailable. Relationships can be used as vessels for growth and healing, but only between willing partners.

A 45-year-old Martyr grew up under the domination of an angry, controlling mother. As an adult, he continued waging battle against his mother by never committing to one woman. In a series of monogamous relationships, he provoked a long stream of women to become hostile and demanding, just like his mother, until the day came when each one could not stand any more and left him in disgust. What he didn’t realize was that his past was ruling his life and that love would elude him forever unless he dealt with his wounds. His latest girlfriend, a woman who wanted to understand her patterns, brought him to my office. She asked me to help her decide whether or not to stay in it, or break it off.

The man was the eternal “nice guy” who would do anything for his woman, except commit. Each of his previous girlfriends only knew this side of him, because he was a chameleon. His defiance of her was never put in her face. It was subtle, insidious, behind-the-back stuff, nothing she could put her finger on. He seemed to be there, in the dating relationship, except he wasn’t really there. He told his new love interest that he was keeping his connections with the other women because he didn’t like to hurt people. He insisted that he wasn’t stringing anyone along . . . it was just that he had never found the one woman to whom he could commit. His fears were sabotaging the relationship.

My client who was the wounded Lover/Vamp had been replaying a traumatic childhood scene of her own with the boyfriend. In relationship with him, she basically was trying to get her abandoning father not to leave. Her dad had walked out on her family when she was a small child, never to be seen again. Both she and her boyfriend were full-grown adults, yet when it came to love they were hopelessly locked in a painful cycle of tug of war. She was sabotaging her happiness by trying to persuade an unavailable man to love her.

Remember: There are no bad guys here. Sometimes we’re ready for things and sometimes we are not. A sign that you are personally unready is that you continue dating people who are also not available when you check below the surface. Or if they are available, you “make” them not good enough, or tell yourself, “Not now.” If you are on the receiving end of a message of reluctance, hang in there for a little while in case your love interest becomes more comfortable. Seek help in processing your feelings if you must. But if you find your self-esteem draining from you while you wait, or you feel less and less valued by your mate, it is time to “cut bait” (break up), toss “the fish” (your partner) back into the sea, and walk away.

There are more easy-to-apply love relationship tips and tools you can use to create commitment in what looks like hopeless cases. In my book, The Passion Principle: Discover Your Passion Signature and the Secrets to Deeper Relationships in Love, Life and Work, you will find lots more to help you have the love relationship you deserve.

Here’s one final thought. If you are in a loving relationship, it is vital that managing the relationship and growing in the relationship become your two highest priorities. You must be honest and diligent, take responsibility for your own energy, feelings, thoughts, and defenses, and try to understand your impact on your partner. This last item matters most when things are going wrong or you want to deepen your connection. These are keys to unleashing romantic passion.

Excerpt from The Passion Principle, Copyright Donna LeBlanc




How to Have an Affair with Your Girlfriend’s Best Friend

You had a perfect relationship and a perfect life
since a few days ago. You don’t know what
happened but for some time your relationship is
passing throw a bad episode, because you and your
girlfriend were not getting along anymore.

In any relationship things change after some time,
it is not all as beautiful as it was from the
beginning. Appear a lot of problems,
misunderstandings and also many argue. Even if
you love your partner very much, if you are
arguing every day, after a while you are enough
of all this and you may find the consolation you
need in other part.

What happen if in some day you are very upset
because you and your girlfriend were arguing
again, so you decided to go in a club with your
friends at a beer to calm down a little? But
there she is: your girlfriend’s best friend, a
beautiful, sexy and available lady which sees you
and get in talk with you.

You are talking with her about your girlfriend
and how hard it is to understand with her in the
last days, that you are not getting along anymore,
that’s why she upsets you every day. You are
enough of all of this, and you need someone who
understands you, love you as the way you are. She
understands you and offers her help to get throw
this.

She was flirting with you until the day you met
her, but now it was her chance to get you.
Because she is very beautiful you couldn’t resist
to her, and you spend that night with her,
because she offered you the understanding you
needed. You slept with her, but what’s next?

You still love your partner and don’t want to
lose her. But the problem is that you don’t know
how to act in front of your girlfriend to not
find out. It is true that you were drunk but this
is not a great excuse to forgive you if she finds
out. You just slept with her best friend, you
really think that she will forgive you? I don’t
think so. So you’ve better speak with her friend
and tell her that this was just an affair and it
is all over now and she must keep the secret.

But what happens if she still uses all her
seductive powers on you anytime she has the
opportunity and tells you that she loves you from
the day she saw you. She agrees with you that she
wouldn’t tell to your girlfriend about you two if
you still accept to meet with her too. Let’s say
that you accept this, because you are too weak to
end your relationship.

Here are some safety tips to follow if you want
that your girlfriend to not find out about this:
don’t permit to your new friend to call you on
your cell phone, you may buy a new number just
known by her, don’t tell at any friend of you
about your affair, use always condoms to not have
a bad surprise, and if your girlfriend has a
suspicion about this, deny.

But you shouldn’t play with fire. You love your
actual girlfriend but the other is much
attractive and sensual. You better think which
you like most and make a choice. If you choose to
keep your actual relationship, the best thing you
can do is to try to not spend much time in the
presence of the other, and definitely not stay
alone with her somewhere. It may get worse.

Also, you know your girlfriend’s best friend very
well and it is common to discover that you and
her have a lot in common as well, and the more
time you spend together, the more attractive she
becomes to you. If you discover that the feelings
between you and her are very serious, you have a
complicated situation in your hands.

The best thing you can do is to break up with
your girlfriend, but not to tell her the real
reason, say it that it doesn’t work anymore, it
will be tragic for her anyway so it is better to
not find out that you are having an affair with
her best friend. This means that you don’t have
to run in the other’s arms after that, it is
better that not make public your new relationship
for now.

Having an affair is not something plan, it just
happens. People decided to have an affair for
many reasons: disappointment in the relationship,
misunderstanding, also attraction, curiosity,
excitement, risk or challenge.